this must be fake mine

| Patricia | 16 | Philippines | A Multi-Fandom Blog |

Beyond Imagination 2/5

Author’s note: Thank you for the wonderful replies. Again, for those who don’t really like AU fics that much, stay away from this one because I’m pretty sure it’s AU. I’m trying to write in present tense so cheers for me! So…some are confused, but that’s okay. Beyond Imagination is sort of like AU drabbles. It consists of five chapters, and the fifth chapter would be in the real universe (canon). It’s confusing, so I understand those who are lost and those who probably think I’m crazy.

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy and Dalton belongs to Mama Cp.

Beyond Imagination

In a mental hospital in Ohio—Silver Pine Sanitarium—is a boy with vivid green eyes, dull most of the time but mesmerizing during the best of times. The boy—Logan Wright III—is a patient diagnosed with Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Sometimes he takes his pills with encouragement from one of the male nurses named Derek, sometimes he has to be forced to take them. Either way, pills are important. Maybe he doesn’t feel the need, but his father does, a rich and powerful man in the Senate who couldn’t care less about his son.

But then again, the feeling has always been mutual.

Every day for the past three years, Logan stares at the same white walls, takes the same white pills, and walks the same white tiles. He doesn’t really speak to anybody else except Derek because he likes his privacy. He has his own room, and his eyes glimmer dangerously whenever the others start talking to him about his father he couldn’t care less about.

These are information Julian Larson-Armstrong gets from his roommate Dwight Houston, a kind boy who is diagnosed with schizophrenia like Julian. These are useful information which aren’t in the pamphlets given to him, and Julian tries to take note of the things Dwight says and categorize them into real or not real despite the voice in his head. He hears of the notorious twins diagnosed with Histrionic Personality Disorder who are the main cause of pranks in the hospital, Reed, a boy diagnosed with Motor Dyspraxia who he should help whenever he sees him because of the boy’s clumsiness, and Wes who is diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder.

Once again, useful information he takes note of despite the voice in his head.

This day starts like any other day. Julian wakes up to Dwight nervously forming a ring of rock salt—which he doesn’t know where Dwight managed to get—around his bed. Julian gets out of bed, as usual, steps on the ring of salt to annoy Dwight, as usual, and get to the lunchroom for breakfast, as usual. Silver Pine makes the patients eat together in the lunchroom to encourage them to be better. Julian doesn’t know how that works or if it even works in the first place, but he doesn’t mind seeing as he could see the green-eyed Logan who doesn’t really get out of his room much.

Every day, he learns more about the patients in Silver Pine, thanks to the twins who loves chatting with whoever they could talk to. Information gets too many to the point where he couldn’t take note of all of them anymore and gets a notebook to start listing things he learns from the twins.

He learns of Kurt, a patient diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, and of Jay, a nurse Dwight likes and often sends holy water to.

As time goes by, more and more information fills up his notebook—a brown spiral notebook with a picture of a tree in front—and the voice in his head starts being more violent. He starts to become more enamored with Logan, more curious as to why he seems so numb all the time.

However, because of his attraction to Logan, the voice in his head starts becoming more annoyed at the fact that he pays more attention to Logan than to the voice in his head—Adam—now.

Adam starts mocking Julian more and more, and frankly, he can’t take it anymore.

It is on a rainy Saturday afternoon when Julian’s alone in their room, lying down on his bed and staring at the pristine white ceiling. Dwight’s not there because he’s somewhere near the lobby, making salt rings and annoying the hell out of the janitors who have to clean the mess, but Julian doesn’t mind; he likes to have a moment of peace. Unfortunately, the moment of peace is shattered when Adam’s voice rings through his ears again, telling him he would never be good enough for Logan.

Julian tries to ignore everything Adam says but after a while, he shakes his head wildly and sits up on the bed, not having the strength to ignore Adam anymore. He can’t fight because Adam knows the insecurities he has and he can’t run because wherever he goes, Adam follows. He’s forced to take all Adam’s insults specifically designed to hit his weakest spots and he can’t do anything but cry and shake his head wildly.

He could call a nurse but in his haze, he forgets about the fact that there are people who could help him.

“You’re never going to be good enough, Julian,” says Adam, cackling wildly, “just like you’re never going to be good enough to your parents. Why would perfect Logan even want you? Look at you! You’re pathetic!”

Julian shakes his head. “I’m not!” he screams. “That’s not true!”

“Oh but yes it is and you know it,” spits Adam, his voice dangerously low, “You are never ever going to be good enough for anyone!”

Julian cries and bows his head down, rocking back and forth on his bed. The rain starts pouring harder and the noise starts becoming louder, the pitter patter of the rain making him more uneasy than relaxed unlike usual. He thinks that Dwight’s presence would really be helpful but then again, he doesn’t want to mess up other’s lives too. He doesn’t want to interrupt other people, doesn’t want to be trouble.

“Look at you! You fail at everything Julian. Failed at becoming the actor mommy dearest wanted you to be, failed at becoming the perfect son your father wanted. Face it Julian, nobody’s going to like you!”

“That’s not true!” shouts Julian, rocking back and forth faster than before, tears streaming down his cheeks at a faster pace. “You’re lying!”

Adam scoffs. “Oh please Julian, I’m not lying and you know it. You’re pathetic.”

“I’m not pathetic!” shouts Julian. “I’m not pathetic!”

The door opens suddenly and a blond boy walks in quickly, sitting beside Julian and rubbing his back soothingly. Logan’s green eyes look at the handsome face of the boy crying beside him and he makes soothing sounds, arranging Julian so that Julian is in the safety and warmth of Logan’s arms, his back to Logan’s chest. Logan’s heart breaks for the boy crying and rocks back and forth slowly, trying to ease Julian into sleep.

Julian eventually stops muttering that he’s not pathetic and his hiccups eventually become soft snores Logan adores, and Logan can’t help but kiss him tenderly on the forehead, whispering that he would be better into his skin. As Logan sings Julian a lullaby, his usually dull green eyes become vivid and alive and later, when Derek sees Logan smiling to himself, he would ask Logan if he got into a fight because that’s when his eyes become alive, and Logan would shake his head, instead answering that he met a boy.

Derek shakes his head, smiling softly, and tells Logan not to take his pills.

Their world’s not perfect, but it’s as perfect as it can get for an Intermittent Explosive Disorder patient and a Schizophrenic patient. They finally found each other in this universe, and they will help each other get better to the best of their abilities.

Somewhere, in another time and place is a Logan and a Julian who still aren’t with each other like fate meant them to be.

This isn’t that universe.

And so, we move on to the next one.

  1. whatwasoncesilver reblogged this from holmessexual-subtext and added:
    Ehhh Julian rocking back and forth like that and screaming that he’s not pathetic just about breaks my heart
  2. holmessexual-subtext posted this

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